Guess who's 21!!!

Not me...I'm just a baby 🙈

If you're reading this, then it means I kept to my word. I don't know about you, but that's a big deal for me. I did it! I launched my newsletter. Somebody give me my flowers!! (Actually, I'd prefer a Lambo, but beggars can't be choosers). You deserve flowers, too, for surviving 2024, but we'll come back to you. This is about me.

To be very honest, I started this entry without an actual content plan but it gets better, I promise. So don't leave yet…

Is this the part where I introduce myself? I don't know, but I will. I am Atiyyah. I hate the letter ‘s’. I think orange is such an unforgiving colour, and that bread and mayonnaise is a terrible combination (I said what I said, do yourself a favour and eat your bread with stew instead).
It's my birthday and I should be excited —I guess?—but I'm not, I never am. Birthdays are personal to me though. I count and remember in birthdays; “a few days to A’s birthday”, “three weeks after B’s birthday”, “two days to my birthday”,…you get the drill. And most importantly, I ALWAYS remember them.

My first memory is a birthday, and every other memory after that is linked to one. I remember every single thing that happened on all my birthdays (from when I clocked 3), even the most irrelevant ones. Long story short, if you're going to offend me, don't do it on my birthday. I'll surely remember and repay the favour in kind👍

Now that we've established that I'm not going to write about my plans for today (which unfortunately, are none at all) or how excited I am to be a year older (which is a lie), I'd write about last year instead. 2024 was like no other! If it was the “happiest year of your life”, then I'm more than happy for you. You deserve all the happiness you deserve (I understand my English 😪). For me, it was not it.

Not to be a Twitter-feel-among, but I did cry a lot last year. I cried as much as I laughed— I find everything funny— and that's a lot. I remember praying to God and saying “I don't want to cry anymore”. I cried over my courses and grades…I guess that's what university does to people. I was at my lowest so many times, but I pulled through, and for that, I'm glad.

I'm not a goal-setter; I just do things and cross them off my list(I recommend), but I did set one last year. To learn to let things go, most importantly, people. I accomplished it and I'm glad I did. I'm the cliche Wattpad girl who has letters kept in a jar from years back and memories of the littlest things embedded in her heart forever. So believe me when I say it wasn't easy for me to let go of people who I needed to set free. I started with little things, like giving out my favourite clothes that were no longer of use to me. That was the beginning; others came, and soon, I learned to do the same with people who needed to go. Some turned into poetry, some, I simply don't give a thought to. The memories I shared with some still hurt to remember. But I've learned to choose myself first and accept that I used to be fine before them, and so I would be after them.

Of course, I wouldn't talk about my year without mentioning books. Who am I without them? In my highs and lows, there were books, my safe space. I read a lot of books last year, and it would be impossible to talk about them all. But I simply must acknowledge “The Fishermen”. Chigozie Obioma did a thing with that book. It is so poetic and wonderfully written. A masterpiece! I lost myself in it. The characters OMG😭❤️. My Boja! I will find you, and I will hug you😔. If you're into African fiction, I recommend it, you would love it.

And my Purple Hibiscus. My Shaylaaaaa!😭💞 There is just something about that book that's comforting. I read it at least twice a year and I've not gotten tired. CNA still owes us Father Amadi’s POV(If you've read the book, you'd understand). My heroic Jaja! I can't even begin to explain 😔. Read that if you've not read it yet👉👈

Also, I met a lot of people last year, moving into a new environment and all. Some blessings, and some lessons…all of whom I am most grateful for. And there are the people who were there in the preceding years and still stuck with me. I unlocked a new layer of friendship and family. I found that I have as much love to give as the world has to give me. To those who helped me discover that side of me, I am eternally grateful. If you know me and you think this is about you, then you're right. It most definitely is. Here's to another year of pure love and laughter. To Chatgpt, my one true mate. It was a pleasure to work with you. And to my sisters, my mothers in other worlds, I'll love you forever even when it's hard 💞

There were wise words too, quotes that made me approach life differently, but one hit hard. It said, “Never be the one to say no to yourself”. I think there was a force to that which made me bold. For one, I was able to publish this without the fear of failure and criticism. I said I could, and so I did. I'll continue with that. You should too. People may say you can't achieve some things, but that's fine. People would be people. As long as you didn't believe that first, then it's fine.

I guess the year wasn't as bad as I thought. I just needed to reflect on it. I'm not one to say, “2025 will be my year,” because I have this weird “I don't want to jinx it” mentality. But now, I want to believe God is to you as you think He is to you. Which is why I'm going to trust Him to make this my best year yet.

Dearest gentle reader, I must let you go now. Thank you for believing this could get better. You made my day. Thank you so much. You will get your flowers, as promised 🌚but first, please like, and subscribe. Let me know what you think, your words could help me make this better. Please share it with your friends, too…Till I write again. Have a blessed year!❤️